The Holiday Effect: Managing Emotional Triggers During the Season of Celebration
When the Season Feels Heavier Than It Looks
As the holidays are merry, with songs and sparkle and colorful lights and loud laughter, beneath the surface, many people struggle quietly beneath the surface. This season can stir up complex emotions for people in recovery or working through their mental health, such as loneliness, pressure to appear happy, guilt, or even reminders of loss.
We at High Desert Counseling understand that you may experience being grateful and overwhelmed at the same time. Holidays have no bearing on healing. For some, holiday expectations may magnify what is currently tender within. The key is not to repress these emotions, but to approach them with awareness and a touch of compassion.
Peace during the holiday season does not have to come from perfection. It can begin with simply being present.
Why the Holidays Can Bring Emotional Triggers
While others may be celebrating connection and tradition, people in recovery may quietly navigate difficult emotions. Old memories, traumatic experiences, family conflict, financial concerns, and disrupted routines can create stress and bring back feelings that may once have contributed to unhealthy coping.
The holiday season can bring additional stress for many people. Research has noted that financial concerns, family obligations, disrupted routines, and pressure to meet expectations can make the holidays particularly difficult (American Psychological Association [APA], 2023). For individuals in recovery, holiday-related stress, disrupted routines, and emotionally difficult situations can increase vulnerability and make healthy coping more challenging.
One composite example reflects this pattern. For "Carol," Christmas used to be one of the most stressful times of the year. "I told myself that maybe this year would be different than the last," she said.
Through therapy, Carol came to understand that the season itself was not the main trigger, but rather her belief that she had to earn happiness. "By the time there are get-togethers, I exhaust myself catering to everyone and trying to make them happy," Carol shared. Through therapy, she learned to set reasonable goals, take breaks when needed, and let go of the pressure to impress others. Carol stated, "Instead of pursuing the perfect holidays, I began choosing peace."
Recognizing the Triggers Behind the Tinsel
Triggers vary from person to person, and they can sometimes go unnoticed during the busy holiday season. At High Desert Counseling, we guide our clients in recognizing the common seasonal triggers so they may face them with awareness.
Here are some triggers that commonly show up:
- Social Pressure: Feeling obligated to attend every event or stay connected with people who do not feel safe or supportive.
- Comparison: Seeing others' seemingly "perfect lives" on social media or in person might make one feel inferior or ashamed.
- Nostalgia: Holiday memories that are associated with painful events like tragedies, losses, trauma, or substance abuse might stir negativity.
- Fatigue: Overcommitting to holiday events without enough rest can leave people emotionally depleted and make it harder to manage stress or cravings.
Christopher, one of High Desert Counseling's clients, has also experienced his own set of problems on his first New Year's sober. "I accepted every invite there is because I thought keeping myself busy would protect me," he shared, "but by the fifth day, it was already making me feel angry and overwhelmed." Christopher's therapist helped him see things differently and showed him that setting boundaries protects you rather than hindering you. He revealed, "I now know when to say no to things that'd drain me and yes to things that feed my peace."
Coping with Holiday Stress in Healthy Ways
Emotional stability means intentionally embracing the season rather than avoiding it. At High Desert Counseling, we offer clients evidence-based strategies to help them stay balanced during the sometimes stressful holiday season.
Here are some simple yet powerful tools:
- Take a Moment to Pause Before Committing. Check in with yourself first before agreeing to anything. Choosegatherings that feel manageable and can help your well-being.
- Check Yourself with HALT (Kretchman, 2026). Before your distress worsens, ask yourself whether you are hungry, angry, lonely, or exhausted, and consider what you might need.
- Create Micro-moments of Calm. Even a short period of intentional breathing or grounding can help you pause and regain your composure when you'ree feeling overwhelmed (Balban et al., 2023).
- Rely on Relationships, Not Isolation. Text your loved ones, call your counselor for a session, or even attend support groups. Staying connected with supportive people can be an important part of navigating difficult moments in recovery.
- Redefine Celebration. Joy does not have to involve extravagance or crowds. It might look like sitting by the Christmas tree and listening to music, taking a quiet winter walk, or writing a gratitude list.
Therapists at High Desert Counseling may use approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and Seeking Safety to help clients develop healthier coping strategies, better understand stress, and strengthen emotional awareness.
Finding Peace in the Season's Stillness
The holidays are often a time for giving, but for those in recovery, they can also be a time to give yourself some grace. Healing is not pretending everything is wonderful, but it is accepting your current situation and making decisions that keep you grounded.
At High Desert Counseling, we encourage clients to focus less on creating a perfect holiday season and more on finding ways to celebrate that feel authentic and supportive of their recovery. We encourage clients and their families to celebrate the holidays in ways that complement their recovery journey, not against it — from small get-togethers and peaceful hot chocolate mornings to volunteer work or simply taking pleasure in the peace that comes with saying "no" to pressure.
In Southern Utah, where the mountains meet the vast open skies, recovery is slow, calm, and deeply human, as the season's calm reminds us. Every conscious breath, every boundary respected, and every craving resisted turns into a small victory worth celebrating.
"This year, I was truly happy because I did not have to fake anything," Noelle said during a recent group session. "Even in quiet times, I felt it – I recognized that I was not simply staying sober, but I was truly healing."
The heart of the holidays is not about doing so much that nothing is left for your own well-being. Sometimes, it is simply about being present.
Disclaimer: Composite stories are created from common patterns observed in our practice. Any resemblance to specific individuals is coincidental.
References:
American Psychological Association. (2023, November 30). Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans [Press release]. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stressAmerican Psychological Association. (2023, November 30). Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans [Press release]. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress
Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., Weed, L., Nouriani, B., Jo, B., Holl, G., Zeitzer, J. M., Spiegel, D., & Huberman, A. D. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell reports. Medicine, 4(1), 100895. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.xcrm.2022.100895
Kretchman D. (2026). HALT: Relapse prevention to resilience. Advances in drug and alcohol research, 5, 15477. https://doi.org/10.3389/adar.2025.15477
